Prairie Sun
by taligator
Summary: And all the time I thought your words were mine You held me down As sure as the sun


Title: Prairie Sun

Warning: Slash; underage situations  
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters but the original idea is mine.

A/N: I flew up to Seattle and wrote this on my phone – I may or may not write more.

Feedback is always welcome and appreciated - even if you don't like it.

* * *

I don't know when it all changed, when I realized that I was different. I wasn't like the others. I just knew my life would never be the same and I felt such a welcoming sense of joy. This joy I knew was not something I was used to, certainly not. My life had never been about joy only hardship. I couldn't even fake joy but I knew what happiness was I'd at least felt that before. 

I knew when Remus came for me today that it would all be over soon and I think my joy was from that...at least that is what I thought then, now I'm not so sure.

I don't know if your life can flash before your eyes when you aren't in the face of death but that is where I find myself right now: facedown on the ground with an overwhelming sense of peace, joy, and utter giddiness while my life flashes before me.

I knew the Order was around somewhere but where I could not see. I was splayed on the ground like a sacrificial pig yet felt no fear of dying - why was I here and why was I not in the process of dying despite hordes of death eaters swarming this field? Where was Voldemort? Where was the sun?

I felt philosophical and strangely disconnected. Turning my head my peripheral vision caught sight of this flowing black thing. Again I felt no fear for it was Snape and he swooped down on me like the great bat that he was. But as this shape grew close I realized that it was not him but a mass of dark energy that quickly enveloped me within.

My heart stilled in breathless anticipation. I did not want to die yet I wanted it all to be over. I wanted to feel the freedom of breath without pain and life with joy. Over over over.

In between the beats of my heart I heard this sound that didn't have sound and words that had no meaning.

I found the energy to roll onto my back and stare into the abyss of black that lay around me. My limbs were heavy with the weight of unknowing.

"Harry, wake up."

I struggled to understand the words and what they meant; did I even know who Harry was?

"Harry,wake up." The voice was persistent and familiar.

I opened my eyes and saw that the world around was not dark any longer but bright with the light of prairie sun. Beside me knelt Voldemort and he had the same look of confusion that I did. I knew that it was time to end all of this pain.

"You can't, don't you know?"

It was that voice again and it was not me nor was it Voldemort.

"You are two halves of a whole and to destroy one you destroy the other, sure as the sun erases the night and the sun burns the night."

Voldemort was staring at me incomprehensibly. He heard the words that I did and yet we didn't have a clue what it all meant.

I wanted to speak but I did not want to stop feeling this joy.

"Harry, pay attention."

It seemed as though the voice had a limit on its patience.

"Who are you?" Voldemort had decided questions were the answer to their predicament.

"I am all that is and all that will ever be."

Voldemort smirked and said, "God?"

It was amazing how much a single word could express such impatience. "No."

I sat up and stared into Voldemort's eyes, eyes that felt as familiar as my own and yet saw nothing the same. "Energy. Life."

"Yes, we are all that is."

Voldemort tried again, "Why are we here and why can't I kill him?"

I touched his cheek and felt the cool skin under my fingertips. "We are the same person. There aren't two people here just one. If you kill me then you kill all that you are and all that you will ever be."

"Why do you have the answers? Why do you know all this?" His frustration apparent in the way his forehead wrinkled.

"I am listening. The energy speaks and I interpret what it says." It felt so beautiful as it filtered through my mind.

"I don't understand."

"You don't want to."

"I do," he begged in his voice but his eyes showed none of it.

"When you are ready you'll hear what is said in here and in your heart. You'll know. You'll hear." I felt so weird sitting with Voldemort, my hand on his cheek and acting as evasive as Dumbledore.

His eyes stared at me with anger and hatred. His cheek twitched and I could hear his heart beat through the energy.

"It's paradoxical."

I smiled, "Yes."

"I made a mistake and brought you into this existence."

"There are no mistakes."

"Then how do you explain this?"

"You wished me into existence and you made us what we are." I stretched and kept my hand on his face but moved my other hand to rest on his thigh.

"I don't understand. Why would I want you?"

"Because you needed someone to stop you. You needed someone to tell you no." His hand slid across mine.

The voice interrupted and whispered, "There is no more time."

I looked at Voldemort and our now entwined hands. "It's time to stop. We can do this no more. You must leave this time out of place with a heart of release."

"I don't," he started.

"You can't lie to us. Open up and receive." The voice spoke softer this time.

"Open up. Feel us inside you, Feel us breathe and feel our heat. Stop fighting us."

Voldemort closed his eyes and then breathed into himself the energy that surrounded them and felt complete. His body shuddered in the ecstasy of opening up and giving in to life.

I shuddered too as Voldemort disintegrated beneath my hands.

"Well done child, go home to the time you belong."

I smiled and felt the joy course through my body and I closed my eyes as the energy consumed me.

"Harry, wake up."

I knew that voice and I smiled. My eyes met the pale blue of Professor Dumbledore and I knew it was all going to be just fine.

Pushing myself to my feet I looked around in wonder. Where it had been day was now night and where there had been death there was now confusion.

"Harry, can you tell us what happened?" Professor Dumbledore laid a wizened hand on Harry's shoulder.

I looked down at my own hands and frowned slightly, there were no scars to remind me of my detentions with Umbridge and my wand was nowhere in sight. "Professor, what happened? What year is it?"

"We had hoped you could tell us what had happened and it is March of 1991."

I heard a snort behind me and saw a younger Snape behind me. "Voldemort is gone for good now, he won't bother us again."

"Mister Potter," Professor Snape began and stopped. He looked into my eyes and saw that what I said was true. "How?"

"Voldemort wished me into existence. It was time for things to be righted and he was removed from this plane in his current form. He won't be back." I felt that I'd given them enough information without telling them everything. It was not prudent to tell them that I was actually Voldemort and that his 'leaving' actually meant that he'd been absorbed back into my body as I'd been chosen to carry out living in this time. It would not do at all. The problem now was trying to figure out why I'd been placed several years back in the past.

I stood up and looked around, everyone seemed so imposing from this size. I was no longer 17 but 11. The universe was not without its ironies. I had all the knowledge of my older self, Voldemort, and that of the energies of the Universe all packed into a scrawny underfed and emotionally scarred 11 year old body.

Professors Dumbledore and Snape flanked my side as we walked up toward the castle. They didn't ask me questions but I knew they would soon.

The rest of the evening was uneventful despite the dram and I was lulled into sleep by the snores of my roommates.

And then yanked out of my dreams by thin fingers gripping my arms tightly. "Mister Potter, come with me now."

As if I had a choice as Snape pulled me from my nest of covers and began to drag me out of my room and toward the common room. He threw a handful of powder into the fireplace and together we were transported to his quarters.

He propelled me toward a large chair, shoved down to sit, and the gracefully dropped to his knees before me. His fingers carefully ran over my cheeks, eyes, and mouth as though he had done this a hundred times before. I didn't dare speak but let this normally stoic man touch me like a lover.

Issues aside it felt strange to be touched so intimately by a man who normally spewed venom from his lips and would have to physically restrain himself to keep from striking me. I knew I wasn't really 11 but I couldn't help but feel confused and yet oddly compelled to lean into him.

So I did...I leaned into his hand and closed my eyes. I felt safe and loved.

"I have waited with so little patience for this day to come to pass, for you to be returned to me." He stared intently into my eyes. "I knew what was going to happen and I hated you for it. Your birth meant that his time was up, he made you and the price was paid in his death."

I felt inclined to correct him. "I was born to stop him, he created me. I did not kill him."

Snape smiled, "No, he is within you." He leaned forward and pressed his lips to mine.

I finally understood all of his anger and all of rage as he skillfully coaxed my mouth open and spoke to me in the most intimate of ways. It was so different than anything I'd experienced before.

Many minutes past and then I heard it. Snape must have heard it too as he stopped his perusal of my mouth and pulled back from me. We listened as the Universe spoke of the new future and the ways of the world and how we would lead them all into the new days.

We were the first of the infinites but not the last. We would lead and they would all follow. We would have children upon children and they would listen to the Universe and lead.

I had been created out of protection for the Universe and blended with the creator but we were never to be the same again. Severus had been created for duty and love, to protect the first infinite, me.


End file.
